living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
