I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
