She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
