he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
