is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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