yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
