I just saw a hot homeless man
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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