Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
