We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize