i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
