I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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