I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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