GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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