i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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