He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
this boner is exhausting
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
