her vagine was all disorganized.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
