shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
