Ketchup is God's man juice
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
