I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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