i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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