i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
