Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
