Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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