If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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