is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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