i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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