We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
