All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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