Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
