Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
