im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
