Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
