mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
