We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
