i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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