party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
