last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
