Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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