So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
