You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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