when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
