he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
