Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
