He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
