so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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