I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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