I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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