Umm I'm too high to move.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So squirting runs in the family.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
