if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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