have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
