Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
