I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
