Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
