We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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