i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
