I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up under a house in Key West
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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