This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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