i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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