eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
