So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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