I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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