Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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